WHAT PREPARED ME TO BECOME A WIFE AND A MOTHER

                       Lorinda G. Belnap

                       November 21, 1998

INTRODUCTION

     When Sister Green called me and asked me if I would speak tonight it happened that my parents were in town.  When she gave me the topic both my parents and I laughed because we equated "preparation for marriage and motherhood" with domestic skills, of which I had very few prior to marriage--I've developed a few since.

     As I gave the topic more thought, I came up with some very specific ideas of what did prepare me for marriage and motherhood.  I would like to share with you three of them.

     When I was in young women, I think I was a beehive, my teacher had us write down what characteristics we wanted in a future husband.  I ran across this list a few years ago but couldn't find it for tonights purposes.  Fortunately, however, I do remember some of those traits.  My teacher then challenged us to develop those same traits.

    

LEARNED TO WORK HARD

     The work ethic was instilled in me and my siblings from a young age.  I come from a family of 6 children and I was expected to do my assigned chores.  When I was 13 years old, my father lost his job and was out of work for almost a year.  When he did finally get a job he earned half of what he had at his previous place of employment. At the time I had two brothers on a mission.  Obviously, our financial situation changed what extras and necessities we got or didn't get.  I worked hard babysitting and contributed a little bit to the family finances.  By the time I was 16, I pretty much earned my own way, except for food and shelter.  I didn't feel deprived in the least, but actually realized that through this experience and through my labours I developed more skills and talents and my capacity to work and balance various aspects of my life increased greatly.  It reminds me of the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30.  Concentrate on verse

     The saying "A Mother's work is never done" is so true.  I'm glad that I learned to work hard at a young age, because it made adjusting to motherhood a little easier.

RECEIVED AN EDUCATION

    

     Expanded horizons and soul

     Personally fulfilled myself and gave me a sense of accomplishment.

     Prepare myself to live in todays world.

     I wanted to marry someone who had an education.

     Able to teach my children the love of learning

     D&C 93:36 "The Glory of God is Intelligence or in other words light and truth".

SERVED A MISSION

     Solidified my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. and built the foundation for the rest of my life.  Referring back to the list, I wanted to marry a returned missionary so I wanted to be a returned missionary.  I developed a clearer sense of the purposes of this life.  Hopefully, Brent and I will be able to impart our testimonies effectively through the way we conduct our every day lives, with our children    and raise them as strong Latter-day Saints.

DEVELOPED A TESTIMONY OF GOD THE ETERNAL FATHER AND JESUS CHRIST

     Caroline's statement at Rhinelander

          surprise at parent's reaction

          supporting statement of her

          thought that it's never too soon to learn of our divine        nature.

     They are my only constants in life, when I exercise faith in them it gives me an incredible amount of strength and wisdom in fulfilling my roles as mother and wife.

     "When other helpers fail and comforts flee, Oh thou who changest not abide with me."

CONCLUSION

     While preparing myself for the type of person I wanted to marry, I developed myself and multiplied my talents, which are serving me very well now in my capacities as wife and mother.

        WHAT PREPARED ME TO BECOME A WIFE AND A MOTHER

                      Lorinda Goff Belnap

                       November 21, 1998

I.   INTRODUCTION

A.  Reaction to Sister Green's request

     1. equated "preparation for marriage and motherhood with domestic skills.

     B.  Gave topic more thought

     C.  Came up with specific points

1.  learned to work hard

2.  received an education

3.  served a mission

4.  developed a testimony of God and Jesus Christ

D.  Challenge as a beehive

1.  write down traits that I would like in husband

2.  develop those traits in myself

II.  LEARNED TO WORK HARD

     A.  Work ethic instilled at young age

1.  come from family of 6

2.  assigned chores

     B.  Father lost job when I was 13

1.after nearly a year of joblessness received job at half of original salary.

2.finances changed, I contributed what I could

3.By age 16 pretty much earned my own way except for food and shelter.

a.  didn't feel deprived

b.realized that through the experience and my labors, I developed more skills and talents and my ablility to balance various aspects of my life increased greatly.

C.Matthew 25:14-30 parable of the talents

     D."A mother's work is never done."  Learning to work while I was young made the transition to motherhood easier.

III.RECEIVED AN EDUCATION

     A.My parents expected hard work not only physically but intellectually as well.

          1.  expected that we would pursue a higher education

     B.D&C 93:36  "The Glory of God is intelligence or in other words light and truth."

     C.   Expanded my horizons and soul

     D.  personally fulfilled myself and gave me a sense of accomplishment.

     E.  I wanted to marry someone with an education

     F.Able to teach my children the love of learning and better prepare them to live in today's world.

IV.SERVED A MISSION

     A.Wanted to marry a return missionary

     B.Taught me on some level how to live with a companion

     C.Solidified testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ

     D.Developed a clearer sense of the purposes of this life.

     E.Hopefully, Brent and I will be able to impart our testimonies effectively with our children and raise them as strong Latter-day Saints.  There is nothing more important.

V.DEVELOPED A TESTIMONY OF GOD THE FATHER AND JESUS CHRIST

     A.Caroline's statement at Rhinelander

          1.  Surprise at parent's statement

          2.  Supporting statement of her

          3.  It's never too soon to learn of our Divine Nature  

     B.They are my only constants in life

          1.Favorite Hymn "Abide with Me."

              a.When other helpers fail and comforts flee, O thou who changest not abide with me.

     C.Grateful that this testimony was developed because when I exercise my faith in them I am given incredible strength, energy and wisdom in fulfilling my role as wife and mother.

VI.  CONCLUSION

     A.While preparing myself for the type of person I wanted to marry, I developed myself and multiplied my talents, which are serving me very well now in my capacities as wife and mother.

     B.Bear testimony.

 September 7, 2010

Excerpt taken from a talk I gave at the Primary training: 

This past General Conference, Elder Neil Andersen gave a talk entitled “Tell me the Stories of Jesus”, which has occupied my thoughts a lot over the past couple of months.  In the talk Elder Andersen said, “My counsel [to you] (when I hear an apostle of the Lord say counsel, my ears perk up) is to speak more frequently about Jesus Christ.  In His holy name is great spiritual power.” 

Keeping this thought in mind, I would like to share with you an experience I had just yesterday with our 3-year-old son Nathan.  As we were here setting up for this meeting, Nathan saw a nursery manual and started looking through it.  He came to this picture of Jesus healing the blind man and said, “Mom, Jesus has the priesthood, and Dad has the priesthood.”—definitely something he learned in nursery--Normally, I would say “your right, isn't that nice?” and continue doing what I was doing, but because of the Elder Andersen’s address, I took the time to sit down and talk with Nathan about Jesus using the priesthood to heal the blind man, and that Daddy can bless him with the priesthood.  He then flipped the pages, and said, “Mom, this is Jesus.”  It was the picture of Jesus healing the 10 lepers and one thanking him while the other nine joyfully ran off.   We talked about that story and the importance of giving thanks to Heavenly Father in prayers, and telling people thank you.  He then turned to the picture of the Good Samaritan, and we talked about being kind to people who we may not know, or who may be different from us.  I am grateful for this experience, and believe Heavenly Father graced me with a tender mercy yesterday to show me just how easy it is to share stories of Jesus with our children and testify of Him.

February 4, 2018

Dearest Spencer:

Wow!  You gave a talk in church.  That is fantastic!  So glad that the language is coming along.  You said that you came on a bit strong--did anybody say you did or is that how your felt?  Are you studying your language daily?  How is your ward/branch?  Did Gustavo come this week?

A couple of things:

The other night RJB NJB and I were sitting around the table talking.  Nathan wanted to ask a girl at school to be his Valentine.  I was asking him what that means--are they boyfriend and girlfriend or does it mean something else?  Apparently it is something in between "friends" and "boyfriend/girlfriend".  Anyway I was trying to discourage it in a playful way saying that he is too young to have a girl friend and that he should just be friends with all of the girls.  His response was something like . . . "Mom, I'm a 10 year old boy starting puberty, I notice girls, it's normal." (that was from his "puberty class that I attended with him at school).  I laughed pretty hard. and then he said, "It's Valentines, there is a pizazz in your step and sparkles in the air."  He is too funny!

Also, It's been on my mind a lot of how to best use my time prior to leaving for Ghana.  There are a TON of things that I would like to order of my own stuff/junk.  There is also A LOT to be done at Grandpa's--there is a TON of stuff to be figured out, not only papers, but also pictures, files, stuff stuff in the basement and attic.  Well, while reading the book of mormon earlier this week (I decided to start over at the beginning.  I finished reading it a couple of months ago and since then have just been looking up different topics, or reading favorite chapters) and in 1 Nephi 1:17 Nephi says: ". . . I shall make an account of my proceedings in my days. . . . after I have abridged the record of my father then will I make an account of mine own life."  BING, I thought, that is my answer, focus on Dad and glean and gather everything I possibly can before we leave.  I NEED TO FOCUS ON THAT!!!  I feel it was inspiration.  Grandpa is doing well and quite frankly, at this point he I think he is going to stick around for quite a while.  We'll take it a step at a time.  Today Grandpa bore his testimony.  There was a baby blessing and so there was a microphone out that could be passed over to Gpa.  He asked me to wheel him up.  He spoke briefly about his injury and how crushing it was to learn he wouldn't walk again then told how he cried for a couple of days, then had Uncle David and Matt give him a blessing and that helped the crying to cease.  He bore testimony of the power of the priesthood and blessings and of the truthfulness of the gospel.  He thanked the Elders Quorum for getting him to church on Sunday's.  It was so tender.  I held the mic for him and fought back the tears.

As you may already know, Caroline came into town Friday evening and it has been wonderful having her around.  It seems so normal.  David Ais and Christopher came up on Saturday to spend some time with her and to pick up furniture from Grandpa's basement (some Caroline and Ryan's stuff--kitchen table, chairs, mirror; some Grandpa's stuff--coffee table, desk and couch.) as David they just got their own apartment in SLC and moved in on Saturday.  We then went to dinner at El Matador in honor, of course, of Uncle Steve.  It was fun to have most of our "chickens" all together, only missing you and Ryan.

I took down the Christmas lights on Saturday.  Amazing how quick and easy it is to take them down--destruction is always so much easier and quicker than construction--true both literally and metaphorically isn't it?  It takes little thought and effort to tear a person down verbally and through action and lots of thought and effort to build a person up.  Easy to destroy, difficult to create.

So sad that there is no snow in our yard and very little snow in the mountains to fill the reservoirs in the Spring.  I wonder at times what the future holds for the great salt lake, if it is eventually going to dry up and be an ecological disaster here in the area.  The size of the lake has changed drastically just in my life time.  We need to be stewards of the earth--wish I knew how to make a difference.

On Monday your Dad and I got together with the Barretts for lunch in SLC. They have lived in Ghana and are going back over for a year to cover for the DTA while he comes back to the US for training.  Nice to meet someone who has been there and is looking forward to going back for a season.  Your Dad is getting pressure from Bill to be in Accra the beginning of July and your Dad wants RJB NJB and I to join him.  I am hoping the kids and I can follow him by a couple of weeks and arrive more toward the end of July.  We'll see what happens.

I got together with Kelly and Janae on Wednesday.  It's interesting to see the different twists and turns our lives take--we all face things we never imagined, either directly or through our kids/spouses.  I become more and more convinced of the importance of staying close to the gospel and "staying on the good ship Zion" even when we have doubts.  As a result of being an active member of the church, my life has been extremely blessed.  I don't have all the answers, but I do know they can be found in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

On Tuesday evening I dropped NJB off at swimming and then went to Mutual.  At mutual the youth were making a dating video to be shown at a stake etiquette dinner in a couple of weeks.  The kids were HILARIOUS and I lost track of time and was 30 minutes late picking up NJB.  I felt HORRIBLY!!!!!  Poor guy was out in the cold waiting and crying.  He called me a couple of times, but my phone was turned down.  That can NEVER happen again.  Seriously just thinking about it now makes my heart ache.

Spent some time with Gpa on Thursday talking about how he got started painting.  Then on Friday we went through all of the canvases in the basement.  I found a few of his, most were canvases that somebody had started and not finished, then were passed on to him to reuse.  I'm trying to encourage him to start painting again.  Haven't been successful yet, but maybe he'll come around.  I think he wants to, but is afraid that it won't be up to his standards.  Later in the day he wanted to work on the Home Teaching message (He condenses the Home Teaching message each month, prints off 80 copies and then they get handed out to all the Home TEachers at the beginning of the month--it is his calling).  He worked so hard on it  I offered several times to type it up for hi but he was insistent on doing it himself.  It took him hours.  While he typed I organized pictures of Uncle David's life--what fun it was!  Life moves too fast!

We watched the Super Bowl today for Sunday movie--Philadelphia Eagles vs. the New England Patriots. The Eagles won 41-33,  It was an intense game  NJB RJB and I were routing for the Eagles as they have NEVER been to the super bowl and I wanted the under dog to win.  It was an exciting game!

Well dear it's way past my bed time and I am fading fast.  I love you soooo much!  We are happy that all seems to be going well for you.  We pray for your safety, happiness and success multiple times a day!!

LTIABABA

Mom

Deer in Hoekstra's front yard

Well camouflaged deer in Hoekstra's backyard

David on moving day.  Picked some things up from Gpa Goff's basement

Me on top of the house taking down Christmas lights

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Dearest Spencer:

Thank you for all of the pics!!!  Next time if you could please accompany them with an explanation.  :)

So tell me what happened with New Year Day.  Were you to stay indoors?  Where do you get on line?  At the church or at an internet cafe?  Curious to hear.

Also, what is going on with the bleeding when you exercise?  Is it from the nose, when you poop, when you urinate?  More details please.  I'm glad it sounds like not too much to be concerned about but would still love to hear more details.  Glad also you provided some comic relief for the other missionaries--haha.  Are the ZLs native English speakers, and is that why they joined you at the hospital?

How are things going between you and your companion?  How is the language coming along?  Lot's of questions.  :)

Spoke with Bishop and Sister Foley today and they send their greetings and commented about what a fine young man you are (i agree).

Have you been able to meet again with you investigator?  Loved the story of you talking with a man on the street who was begging.  I'm sure you made his day.

As you know, President Monson died this past week.  I've seen some of the news coverage about his life and find it quite inspiring.  I will always remember him as seeking out the "one", of listening to the Spirit and acting immediately, of inspiring people to be kind.  The past couple of days I have been preparing to share a bit about the new mutual theme, "Peace in Christ" based on D&C 19:23 "Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me."  The idea of meekness stood out to me and I remembered a talk given by Elder Soares entitled "Be Meek and Lowly of Heart".  He said, "Meekness is vital for us to become more Christlike. Without it we won’t be able to develop other important virtues. Being meek does not mean weakness, but it does mean behaving with goodness and kindness, showing strength, serenity, healthy self-worth, and self-control." After reading that passage from the talk, I thought, "President Monson was a meek man."  It was hard when President Hinckley died--I remember you saying that you weren't sure you could love Pres. Monson the way you did Pres. Hinckley (or something to that effect)--I felt much the same at the time and Pres. Hinckley will always hold a special place in my heart along with Pres. Kimball--the prophet of my youth;  Having said that, Pres. Monson's life message of service, kindness and looking out for the one has been a powerful message for me.  Your dad will be attending his funeral on Friday.  I might go down if I can get Uncle Doug to check on Gpa--we'll see.

Well I believe last week I shared with you Ben Franklin's thought of beginning ending the day with a question:   "How can I help someone today/what will I do to be of service today?" and "What did I do to serve."  I'll share with you at the beginning of each day:

Mon- Helped Uncle Darrell compile a list of birthdates, anniversaries, phone, email and snail mail of all descendants of Gpa Goff.  Pretty amazing to have it all in one place!  We call it the Grandma Inez Goff's birthday list.  She faithfully sent birthday cards as long as she was alive with a $5 bill enclosed.  The list was made in her honor.

I enjoyed hanging out at Gpas during the afernoon.  When I wasn't working on the list with Darrell, I was up in his room going through papers and cleaning out.  Bit by bit things are coming a long.

We had a brief FHE regarding goals.  NJB was very serious about his goals and made a long list.

Tues--Texted several inactive youth to invite them to participate in serving the special needs mutual on Thursday--got positive response from all of them.  (although one family backed out the day of).

When the kids left for school and your dad for work, I did a bit of a happy dance. It was nice to have some quiet time after the craziness of the holidays.  Having said that, it will be difficult once we have an empty nest.  I like quiet time in chunks--not permanently. :)

began packing away Christmas

Visited with Carolee and Gpa for a bit--was nice not to have the pressure of mutual on Tues night.

When I was tucking in NJB (yes that is what happens when you are the youngest) NJB said to me, "before you say no, there are 24 hours in a day, will you snuggle with me for 1 minute." How do you say no to that?  I had him figure out the fraction that one minute is of the day -- 1/1440th.  I think i can spare a minute or two. :)

Wed--began re-typing a paper which I wrote for a gerontology class when I was at U of U.  The paper was about a woman named Ruth Hutchinson.  I met with her weekly during the semester, and there is quite a bit of information in there that I thought a family member would like.  I've tracked down her daughter-in-law and will send it to her when it is completed.  Transcribed a month or so of Gpa Goff's diary from when he was 15 years old.  Texted Amberly a happy birthday wish.

continued packing away Christmas.

Thurs--Took CAB to his colonoscopy appointment (fortunately nothing wrong,  They think it is most like Irritable Bowel Syndrome.)  Finished typing the paper.  Picked up two of our inactive girls for the Special needs mutual.  They had a good experience, realized that there are several of the Young Women that they know, and are planning on attending this week as well--I'm praying hard for them!

The special needs mutual was quite the experience.  These handicapped individuals in adult bodies who functioned on a variety of levels.  Their lack of filter was endearing.  When the leaders asked for a volunteer to pray, many hands shot up.  There were lots of hugs and I love yous for several of the individuals.  It was inspiring to be a part of.  We get to do it for the entire month of January.  Did you ever do that here in Ogden?

Fri--took Gpa to my Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Franks home in Highland for lunch.  Had a wonderful time visiting with them.  Aunt Carolee joined us.

Loved visiting with my Aunt and Uncle.  Marilyn is Gma Goff's sister and when I see her she is a bit of an ersatz mom for me.  I feel close to mom when I am with her.  Uncle Frank isn't doing that well, he has Parkinsons which set on quite rapidly.

Sat--made a bday cheese cake for my mom and took it to Gpa to share with those who came to visit him.  Visited my Mom's grave.

NJB and I went skiing for a couple of hours.  The weather wasn't that great.  When we first arrived it was raining on the lower part of the mountain.  We took the becker lift up twice and my gloves were SOAKED.  Fortunately I had some spares in the car and got them.  We only got in 4 runs, but it was fun being there.

We came home so that NJB could attend a friends bday party.  When the party was over I talked quite a bit with the friend who is absolutely FASCINATING.  She loves to travel has been in over 160+ countries, and belongs to the Community of Christ (former R-LDS church) and is a direct descendant of Joseph Smith.  Crazy!  Huh?!  Anyway, we are going to have them over for dinner.

Sun--visited Gpa, visited one of my YW who has been missing church a lot recently.

As always, it was a wonderful day.  Testimony meeting was interesting but good--heard from several people who I have never heard bear testimony before.  Sunday School we discussed Moses 1, and what a difference it makes when someone expresses belief in us and our abilities--i.e. when God repeatedly calls Moses "my son" as opposed to Satan who says, "Moses, son of man."  Important to remember that we truly are Children of God, he loves us, and needs us to arise and stand up for goodness (circle back to the thoughts on meekness) and kindness and meekness and charity etc etc.

In YW we talked about the difference between "knowing OF" someone as opposed to "Knowing" someone and that we need to "Know God and Christ", not just know "OF" them.

Well, Spence, that is about it for this week.

i love you so much and pray for your happiness, safety and success.

LTIABABA, 

Mom

Still haven't finished putting away Christmas yet--hopefully this week.  :)